


i will love you after you're gone

by Olicityrules



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 01:39:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2489711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olicityrules/pseuds/Olicityrules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity Smoak has some life changing new, that will destroy Oliver Queen and team Arrow</p><p>warning major Characters death</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guy this is my first time hope you enjoy.
> 
> ps sorry if there are any mistake have to check myself

Chapter one  
Felicity Smoak, couldn't believe what she was hearing, her mind kept thinking that there must be some mistake, this couldn't be happening.

She was listening to everything thing the doctor was saying, but for some reason, the words weren't really penetrating her brain, which she did register briefly as being ironic.  
Tears glistened in her eyes as the doctor told her what to expect, reality started to hit and her heart dropped out. 

Suddenly there didn't seem to be any air in the room. She swallowed and found it difficult, coughing slightly, the doctor poured her a glass of water and handed it to her, and she took the tiniest of sips, scared she might choke. She smiled at the doctor politely and placed the glass down on his desk. She needed to put a brave face on, because she knew if she broke down now, she would never recover.

She wished Oliver was sat in the chair next to her, holding her hand, reassuring her, but he wasn't, they had come so close to having something, but it had all fallen apart, she wasn't going to wait around for him to get his head out of his ass. So she had moved on, although she couldn't really say that she had moved on completely. It was still a work in progress  
So she was here alone.

“Is there anything else, you need to know?” the doctor asked her gently.

Tears sprang to her eyes, what more did she need to know? The reality was there was nothing more to know, it made no difference to the outcome, no matter how much information she had it wasn't going to change the anything “No” she said in a small voice. Tear starting to fall down her cheeks.

“Miss Smoak I know this is a lot to process”

That was an understatement if she ever heard one. 

“Is there someone that we can call to take you home? You really shouldn't be alone right now” 

She thought of Oliver, and was tempted to call him, but at the end of the day this wasn't Oliver’s problem, this was hers, he had Starling City to worry about, she couldn't have him worrying about her to.

“There isn't anybody, I will be fine”

Famous last words she thought.

This she decided was the worst day of her life, although she suspected that soon there would be far worse days. The thought made her stomach flip, she wanted to run and hide, but there was nowhere to run. Fate was heading for her, and there was no way of getting out of its way.

After her doctor’s appointment she had headed right for the foundry, needing some kind of normalcy. She needed to be normal.

She stopped at the top of the stairs and looked around, scanning the room at large, Dig and Roy were sparing on the mats, there was no sign of Oliver, which brought relief, she couldn't deal with Oliver Queen right now, not when her emotions were so raw. She felt so exposed.

She headed down the stair, as she reached the bottom of the stair, her legs became unsteady under her and she fell the last three steps landing at the bottom in a heap.

Great now there goes her dignity.

“Felicity” she head Diggle say concerned as he rushed across the floor to her. Roy was behind him.

“Are you okay?” Diggle asked crouching in front of her.

She looked up into their concerned eyes, and the iron clad resolve she had been keeping a hold of, crumbled, she burst into tears in front of them. Her stomach lurched and the tears flowed, she felt out of control.

She Sob uncontrollably.

“Felicity what on earth is the matter?” Roy asked as Diggle pulled her into his arms.

She tried to control herself she really had, but the toll of the last few weeks was too much.

She needed someone to know, she realized then that she couldn't do this alone, that her plan never to tell anyone, was very flawed. She couldn't keep this inside.

Diggle picked her up of the floor and took her over to her chair and sat her down.

“What’s happened?” Diggle asked gently. 

Which made her cry even harder.

“Felicity whatever the problem is we can fix it” Roy said from her right.

She looked up into his concerned eyes and said “you can’t fix this Roy no one can,” tears streaming down her face.

“Felicity” Diggle breathed worry evident in his voice.

“I’m dying” she blurted out and then proceeded to burst into tears again.

It had taken sometime but finally, they had managed to calm her down. Shock was clearly on their faces, as well as sadness, fright and worry.

“Felicity I don’t understand, you’re perfectly healthy” Diggle said then, trying to make sense of what she had blurted out.

“I’m very ill Diggle, I have had some symptoms for a while, double vision, unsteady on my legs, very uncoordinated, been getting headache, vomiting, I thought it was stress, it wasn't until I woke up one morning and couldn't talk, that I started to get worried, so I went to the doctors and they did a barrage of test, turns out I have a brain tumor” tears sprang to her eyes again. Nothing in the world would of held them at bay “It’s on my brain stem so there is nothing they can do, the symptoms are just going to get worse, they have said that I could have radiotherapy, which would prolong by life, but I would be even worse, wouldn't have any real quality of life, so I decided I want to live my last months on earth to the fullest I can, so I declined”

“I am so sorry” Roy said tears in his eyes.

She took his hand and squeezed it. Trying in her small way to reassure him.

Diggle suddenly got up and started pacing like a tiger trapped in a cage “There has to be something someone can do somewhere” he said anger in his voice.

“Diggle” she held out her hand to him, he took it and she could see the pain her news had caused him in his eyes. “Let it go, there is nothing anyone can do” she told him gently.

“This can’t be happening” Roy said wiping away his tears with his free hand. His other hand was clutching her so tightly that she could feel the blood leaving her hand.

“I just need you two to promise me something, please promise me that I won’t die alone, I don’t have any family other than my mom, and this news really isn't going to affect her that much, and I don’t want to die alone” tears streamed down her face. It was her greatest fear that she would be on her own, when her time came.

“Oh God Felicity no” Roy said pulling her to his chest and holding her there. 

“We will never let that happen” Diggle told her. “We promise you we will be there, myself, Roy and Oliver”

“No Oliver can’t know about this” she said pulling away from Roy, urgency in her movements.

“But Oliver. . . “ Roy started.

“No, we carry on as normal, if he knows he’s not going to be able to protect Starling city, and I can’t have that on me, he can’t know” this wasn't negotiable he could never know.

“Felicity I don’t see how you’re going to be able to keep this from him” Diggle told her frowning. Confusion crossed his face.

“When it gets to bad I will just disappear, you guys can come visit towards the end, I haven’t really worked out all the details out yet, I just know that he can never know guy, this is my decision, and I don’t want him to” they didn't understand her reasoning, and that was fine, she couldn't split Oliver in two like that, she wouldn't, he needed to stay focused.

Roy pulled her back into his arms again and Diggle crouched down in front of her “whatever you need Felicity” Diggle told her then.

The stayed there in silence for a moment absorbing what she told them, each trying to come to terms with her news. 

They heard the door bang shut and Felicity pulled away from Roy who walked off towards the Mats. He was upset.

Diggle stood up with a deep breath and followed Roy.

And Felicity turned around in her chair all three wiping their eyes discretely.

 

Oliver stood at the top of the Foundry stairs, and frowned, he had the feeling he had just walked in on something, but wasn't sure what, there was an atmosphere in the room that he couldn't quite put his finger on. But he knew that something had just happened and he hadn't been a part of it.

He waited for someone to say something, no one did.

He frowned perhaps he had imagined it.

“Felicity where are we with finding out who is selling drugs?” he said coming down the stairs. 

Felicity took a deep breath “I am running facial recognition on them now, trying to find a name” she didn't turn around kept her face to her computer screens.

He came to stand behind her and put his hand on her shoulder “Good. Let me know as soon as you have something”

“Sure always do” Felicity said her finger going over the key board.

She looked up to see Roy watching her, and she gave him a small smile.

He looked sad and she hated it that she had caused that look. 

 

One week later.

Oliver walked into the foundry and for what seemed like the hundredth time, Felicity Roy and Diggle were huddled together, their conversation abruptly stopping the minute he walked into the room, something was going on. He just didn't know what, he frowned “Everything okay Guys?” he said coming down the stair.

“Yeah we were just discussing what take out were going to have” Roy said casually a little too casually for Oliver’s liking.

“Good I’m starving, what we having?” Oliver asked but his focus was on the back of Felicity’s head.

She was very quiet, which was odd for Felicity, Felicity babbled and talked, but lately the Foundry wasn't full of her voice, and he missed it. 

Things hadn't been the same since he had kissed her in that hospital hallway, but lately things seemed to have gotten even worse between them.

Over the last week something had change, there was no longer an upbeat energy with his team, they did what they needed to do, but the spark was gone.

He couldn't quite put his finger on what had happened.

“Big belly burgers” Diggle said jumping into his thoughts.

He smiled at Diggle “sound good”

 

Felicity was tired it was late, she sat at her computer looking at the screens, and suddenly her vision doubled, she squeezed her eyes shut, and her stomach rolled, she took a deep breath and found it had to swallow.

The symptoms were getting worse, she knew that it was only a matter of week now before she had to disappear she had wanted more time, but time was running out.

She went to speak, but her voice didn't come out, and panic welled in her, she took another deep breath and tried again, she forced the words past her lips “Nothing more I can do, I’m going home” her voice came out crocked and scratchy.

Both Diggle and Roy looked up from sparing on the mat.

“Are you okay?” Oliver asked hanging from the salmon ladder.

“That sore throat getting worse Felicity?” Roy asked quickly.

She nodded grateful to Roy for covering for her. Over the last couple of week, she had found a true friend in Roy, he looked out for her, doing little thing for her, like taking her home in the evenings, even sometime sleeping in her spare room to make sure she was okay, getting her food and drinks, just little things that made her life that much bearable. He also covered with Oliver when needed.

Oliver fell to the floor with the elegance of a cat. He walked over to her “Not feeling well?” Oliver asked concerned.

“No, she told me earlier that she had a sore throat” Roy said coming over to them.

She took a deep breath and wondered how much longer she could keep doing this. It was harder then she thought, and it was begging to take its toll. Everything was starting to be a big effort.

“Just feeling a little under the weather” she said quietly grateful that her voice had come back. “I’m going to get going” she said and stood up.

Her vision doubled again, and she closed her eyes against the effect. She clutched her chair, to keep herself upright.

Roy stepped in front of her, blocking Oliver’s view. Once again coming to her rescue

After a second her vision restored and she felt well enough to put her coat on, and grabbed her bag.

“I’ll see you guy tomorrow” she said moving away from her desk.

“I’ll walk out with you” Roy said.

It hadn't escaped Oliver’s notice that Roy always walked Felicity home; he knew that something was going on with them, sometime he would watch her town house making sure she was safe, he literary felt his heart break when he saw Roy coming out of her house first thing in the morning, he didn't like the thought of them together, he had hidden his feeling for Felicity, but they had never gone away.

He could feel the jealousy burn in his stomach. He didn't like it.

Felicity started to walk across the foundry floor and suddenly her legs didn't seem to work the way she needed them to, she started to fall.

Oliver saw her and he reached out to grab her, but Roy got to her first, grabbing her before she could hit the floor.

Oliver didn't like it, he was the one that saved her, and then it hit him like a truck, sweeping his breath from his lungs, he’d been replaced.

“You okay?” Roy asked.

Diggle pushed past Oliver with a little more urgency then needed in Oliver’s opinion.

“I’m fine” she told the two concerned men. “I’m such a klutz” she dismissed.

“Let’s get you home” Roy said.

It didn't escape Oliver’s notice that Roy took her gently by the elbow and led her away.

It broke his heart.

 

 

Oliver was doing 101 mph on his motorbike, in a high speed chase.

“I’ve lost them Felicity, were are they?” Oliver said into his comms. 

“Checking traffic camera’s now” Felicity told him. “They’re about a quarter a mile ahead of you. It a black van” 

“On it” he sped along the road weaving in and out of traffic.

“Felicity talk to me”

“You need to take the next left” she told him, he turned, not slowing down and found himself in a dead end street.

He only just managed to stop before he hit the wall.

 

“What the hell happened Felicity?” he bellowed as he came down the stair to the Foundry.

Anger surging though his veins, he couldn't believe that she had sent him completely the wrong way.

Felicity sighed, she know he was going to be pissed, she had told him left when she had meant right, it was one of the symptoms of her tumor, she would mean one word, but say another.

“I’m sorry” she said. She rubbed her forehead with her fingers. Oliver knew it was a habit she did when she was stressed out.

She knew that, that one word was nowhere near enough to calm him down, but it was all she had.

“Sorry, you nearly got me killed Felicity” he shouted.

“Oliver calm down, mistake happen” Diggle said then from behind him.

“Not like that Diggle she sent me the wrong way! I nearly hit a brick wall!” he turned to Felicity.

“Get your act together Felicity, tonight was unacceptable” he spit out.

Felicity flinched at the brutality of his anger that was directed at her.

“Let all just calm down” Roy said then coming to stand in front of Felicity, in what Oliver could only say was a protective gesture which pissed him off, like he would ever hurt Felicity, and the idea that Roy thought he might refueled his anger.

Oliver ignored him, because if he didn't he was likely to punch Roy “You have not been on the ball for weeks now, and I have over looked it, but tonight was unacceptable Felicity, we lost the bad guys and nearly got me killed in the process, you need to buck your idea up!” he bellowed at her.

Oliver rarely got angry with her, but when he did he didn't hold back, and usually she would give as good as she got, but now was different , there was little fight left in her, and what was there, was being used to keep herself going throughout the day.

She felt the tears pricking her eyes and she blinked them back.

It hurt that Oliver was angry at her, more then she would like to admit.

“Oliver we all makes mistake” Roy said then, defending her.

“I might off guessed you would take her side” her turned on Roy.

Oliver anger was getting the better of him, Roy needed to keep his nose out of things that didn't concern him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roy shot out.

“Don’t think it hasn't escaped my notice that you to are seeing each other, and it’s effecting her ability to do her job” he pointed to Felicity.

Everyone just stared at Oliver. Dumbfounded.

For a moment Felicity couldn't believe what Oliver had said that, the thought of her and Roy was ludicrous. She didn't look at him like that, and he certainly didn't look at her like that, but in hindsight she could see why Oliver would jump to those conclusions, she spent a lot of time with Roy, she groaned inside as it hit her how it looked she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

This situation was getting way out of hand, she stood up. It seemed like a great effort. But she needed to fix this, he couldn't go after Roy especially since he had been such a great help to her these past weeks, he didn't deserve Oliver’s anger.

“I’m sorry Oliver, I gave you the wrong directions, I made a mistake, but myself and Roy are not dating” she told him, just as her vision doubled.

She closed her eyes against it, her stomach lurched. “Oh God” she muttered, as the whole world tilted. 

“Felicity” she heard someone say, Oliver she thought, his voice now had no anger in it just worry, it seemed far away, like he was across a canyon.

She tried to reply but no words came out.

She opened her eyes and there was two of everything so she tried to close them again, but instead they rolled to up into her eyes sockets and darkness took over.

She collapsed.


	2. i will love you  after you're gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the Kudos it really nice  
> and thanks to Lady_Ravfire for my first comment

Chapter two

Oliver lunged for her only just catching her in time, he gently lowered her to the floor, panic forming in his stomach. 

Looking at her now he realized she was deadly pale.

Diggle and Roy were looking at each other, with worried looks on their face. They knelt down either side of her.

Roy checked her breath “She’s breathing” there was relief in Roy voice.

Oliver was listening, but he was still looking at a passed out Felicity, his mind wouldn't quite register what had just happened. It seamed like he was in a bad dream.

“We need to get her to the hospital” Diggle said to Roy over her body.

Roy nodded “I told her this was too much for her, she wouldn't listen” Roy said to Diggle.

“I know Roy I tried to talk to her this morning, when I found her throwing up, but she won’t have it,” Diggle sighed “I should off tried harder” 

“Dig you can’t blame yourself for this, she wouldn't listen to me either” Roy was saying.

“Right now we need to get her to the hospital” Diggle was saying now.

“I’m scared Dig, it’s getting worse” Roy said his voice catching.

“What’s getting worse?” Oliver asked then urgency in his voice.

Dammit he knew something was going on, and now he wanted to know what, he was fed up with being kept in the dark by his own team.

Both Roy and Diggle looked at him as if they were remembering he was there for the first time, they looked at each other.

“What going on?” he asked and his voice suggested they tell him or there would be consequences.

“Oliver Felicity’s. . . ill” Diggle told him gently.

“What do you mean ill Diggle? How ill?” worry was churning in his stomach. He had an awful feeling that he wasn't going to like the answer, but at the same time, he needed to know.

Diggle looked at Roy, a bad look passed between them. Oliver didn't like it one bit.

Roy swallowed “She’s dying, ill” Roy told him in a small voice.

A truck hitting him couldn't off done him more damage than those words. 

He looked down at her unconscious body.

“What?” there had to be some mistake, Felicity, his Felicity was okay, there was a mistake here somewhere. His brain tried to wrap itself around what he had just been told, but all he felt was blind panic. His stomach dropped out. 

“Oliver, she has a brain tumor, it’s killing her” Roy told him, looking nervously to Diggle.

He looked down at her then tears in his eyes, this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. He would do whatever it takes to make her better. 

“No. I mean she’s fine, she’s been fine, there must be some kind of mistake” he said in denial.

“Oliver she not got long” Diggle told him then, as if he was a small child and he was trying to make him understand something that was out of his comprehension. 

He looked up at his friend, and only saw the truth, and it crashed in on him like a big black hole, engulfing him, surrounding him, drowning him. He was sure if he hadn't of been knelt on the floor, he would of collapsed.

“We need to get her to the hospital” Diggle said.

Oliver didn't need to be told twice he picked her up as if she was a china doll. He cradled her against his chest, and kissed the top of her head, as he carried her up the foundry stairs, he couldn't lose her, he didn't know what he would do if he did.

 

Oliver sat by her bed, holding her hand , she looked so fragile, so very ill, her skin was drawn tight across her bones, it had a grey tone to it, she had lost weight and that Felicity glow he loved so much had gone. How had he not noticed? He couldn't fathom how he had missed it, looking back now, all the time the guy’s had covered for her, little gestures of looking after her, it was all crystal clear now. 

He wanted to kick himself, he wanted to shout at Diggle and Roy for keeping this from him, he wanted to ask her why she had felt the need to keep this form him.

They had always had an open honest relationship, sure things had been a little strained between them recently, but this was big and too important for him to off been kept in the dark. It hurt that she hadn't said anything.

He sighed and leaned forward, he had been through some battles, his body bruised and broken, he’d felt pain, but this was like nothing like he had felt before, if he didn't know better he’d say he had been thrown under a bus.

He was holding her hand in both of his. Her hand seemed so small.

She moaned softly, and fluttered her eyes open.

“Hey welcome back” he said gently, brushing her blond hair out of her eyes.

“I can’t see anything” she said a little panicked.

“Shhh, you just need your glasses” he reassured her.

He took her glasses from the side table and put them on her “Better?”

“Yes thank you” she said swallowing hard. “Where am I?” she asked in a cracked voice, it broke his heart.

“The Hospital, I brought you here after you collapsed” he told her.

She closed her eyes, but before she did he saw the pain in her beautiful blue eyes, “so you know?” she asked not opening her eyes.

“Yes Diggle and Roy had no choice but to tell me, what I don’t understand is why you didn't?” he asked her then.

“I didn't want to distract you with my problems” she told him.

It was a feeble answer she knew but it was the only one she had.

“Felicity I should have been the first person you told” he told her gently but sternly.

He squeezed her hand tighter.

She could feel the tears pricking her eyes “I’m sorry, I know how much responsibility you take on, I didn't want you take on this responsibility to, it’s not your problem”

Of cause it was his problem, she was his problem why didn't she get that?

He took her hand in both of his “Felicity of cause this is my problem, the minute you started to have symptoms I should off known, I would of taken you to the Doctors, you wouldn't of heard this news alone, I should have been there Felicity. If you had of told me we could off looked into treatment,”

Her heart flipped in her chest at his words, but she needed to stop the hope that was in his voice, she had long ago come to terms with what was happening. She had to make him understand that there was no help; there was no miracle that was going to save her.

“Oliver there is nothing anyone can do,”

“I know, I have spoken to the top Doctors in the country, they’re all saying the same, there is nothing they can do” he looked tired, his voice strained. He slumped in his chair and looked defeated; it broke her heart that she was doing this to him.

“Oliver, it’s okay, I have come to terms with it” she tried to reassure him. Many night eating Ice-cream and talking to Roy, had made her come to terms with what was happening.

“I wish I could say the same Felicity, I don’t think I am ever going to come to terms with this” he told her honestly.

“Oliver” she said on a sob.

He got up and came to sit next to her on the bed, pulling her head down to his hard chest.

“It alright, everything is alright,” he told her as he kissed the top of her head.

But they both knew that to be a lie.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> was up all night completing this enjoy

Chapter three

A day later the Hospital let her go home; Oliver picked her up and took her home.

“Thank you for driving me home” she told Oliver as he placed her on the couch.

“Do you want something to eat, I can order some food?” he asked concerned.

“I’m not really Hungry Oliver, but thanks” she said a little tired, she had found that she was getting tired more easily.

“You need to eat something” he said sternly “Keep your strength up”

She rolled her eyes at him, “what are the chances of you stopping annoying me until If i don't give in?” she asked with a smile. 

“Slim to none” he shot right back.

“Fine Chicken noodle soup it is” she told him pulling her feet up and under her. “Take out menu is on the fridge”

He grinned from ear to ear and disappeared into the kitchen.

She wouldn't eat much she knew she had little appetite, and most of the time, she would only bring it back up.

But she had to admit it was nice that he was looking after her, and boy was he, her every need was taken care of, he ran around after her like a puppy dog.

She snuggled into the couch, feeling a little chilly.

“I have ordered it should be here in about half an hour” he said coming to stand next to her, “you’re cold” he grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and tucked it around her. “Better?” he asked.

“Yes thank you”

“So what movie we going to watch?” he asked sitting and picking up her feet and putting them on his lap.

“Haven’t you got somewhere you got to be?” she asked raising an eyebrow in question.

“Digg and Roy are taking over Arrow duty’s for a while, so the only thing I have to do tonight is watch a movie with you” he started to rub her feet.

“I don’t want to keep you from your duty Oliver” she said quietly.

“My duty is here right now.”

“But. . . .”

“Felicity there is nothing more important right now then you” he told her.

Her stomach dipped at his words.

“So which movie do you want to watch?” he asked then.

“You decide” She said relaxing a bit. 

“You feel like living on the edge tonight hur?” he smiled at her, she knew he had bad taste in movies.

He picked out a romantic comedy, not really his thing, but he knew she would like it.

The food arrived and they ate while they watched, before she knew it she was tired, her eyes became heavy.

“Hey you, I think it’s time for bed” he said.

She nodded, and got up, but her legs went from under her, he grabbed her before she could fall to the floor, swinging her up it to his arms, “I can arm you know”

He looked at her, “I am fluent in speaking Felicity, but that sentence just doesn't make sense”

She shook her head, “Sorry, I meant walk, I can walk”

“Felicity, just let me carry you okay?” he said

She relented.

He took her upstairs to her room.

He sat her on the bed.

“I’ll leave you to get s changed” he left the room.

And she changed quickly, and got into bed.

She snuggled down. felling really sleepy

The door opened a crack and Oliver poke his head through “You okay?”

“I’m fine Oliver, you can take off the only thing I am going to do now is sleep”

He nodded and shut the door.

She lay there in the dark and that when it happened, everything seemed to overwhelm her all at once, the emotions and feeling she had kept at bay, surged forward.

A sob escaped her then, she couldn't stop it, and when it did it was like a gate opened, and it all rushed out.

She felt betrayed by her own body, it was killing her, and there was nothing she could do, but sit back and take it, she felt angry at fate, for doing this to her, but most off all she felt scared, terrified. This was going to happen, it was like she was on a train heading to crash, she could see it coming, but she couldn't get off the ride, all she could do was watch. Death was chasing her, and it was only a matter of time before it caught up, and it scared her witless. 

She had tried to come to terms with it, and in the day when she was with people or busy she could convince herself that she had come to terms with it, telling herself that death was a part of life, and that it was the next stage, a new journey. But it was now when she was alone, in the dark that it dawned on her, she had no idea what was coming next and she was hurtling towards it, it scared the life out of her, terrified her beyond reason. She cried, big wailing sobs escaped her, there was no stopping the hysterical cries that ripped form her chest.

The door opened and Oliver steeped into the room, he crossed to her in three strides laid down next to her and pulled her into his arms. 

She had thought he had gone home for the night she might of guessed he’d stuck around, it was so Oliver.

She turned so she was facing his chest and balled like a baby.

He pulled her even tighter to his chest tucked her under his chin.

“Oliver” she finally spoke.

“Humm”

“I’m scared Oliver” she rose up and looked at him, tears shimmering in her eyes.

“Me to” he replied honestly.

He had seen a lot and been in some horrible situation, but he had never been as scared as he was now.

The tears started to flow then, “I am really scared” she sobbed.

“I know you are, and I wished I could take that away for you, I can’t make it go away Felicity, if I could change places with you I would, the only thing I can do, is be there every step of the way, and I will be, you won’t be alone for a second” he promised.

“I don’t want to die” she told him on a sobbed, “Death frightens me,” 

“Baby, it’s alright, it’s going to be alright” he said holding her face in his hands. “I promise you, I will be there with you, you’re not going to do this alone” he told her sincerely. 

He wanted to take the frightened look from her eyes.

He pulled her back down to his chest and held her there tight, they lay there while she cried herself to sleep.

 

Oliver was woken up by the doorbell, he looked down at a sleeping Felicity, he gently moved her away from him, and slipped out of bed.

He padded bare foot down the stairs to the front door, he unlocked the door and opened it to find Thea on the door step.

His mood took a dramatic downturn “What are you doing here Thea?” he asked.

He hadn't approved that she had, become Malcolm pet, he didn't like it when she had moved into an apartment Malcolm had brought her, he was disappointed in her, she should of known better, he had tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it.

He hated the fact that that Malcolm had her in his clutches, he had lost her, and he wasn't sure how it had happened. He knows that Malcolm was a considerable threat, a threat that he would extinguished in time. 

He couldn't understand Thea’s thinking how she could turn her back on her family and friends for a man that had killed thousands of people.

“I heard about Felicity, I wanted to see how she was?”

“You suddenly care?” he snapped.

He watched her physical flinched at his verbal attack.

“Of cause I care Ollie”

“Have you stopped shacking up with Merlyn?” he snapped.

“He’s my Farther Ollie” she said then.

“No he’s not, you’re farther died on the Gambit” he said crossing his arms over his chest. “The guy that is manipulating you, is a mass murder” he snapped.

“He doesn't lie to me Oliver, unlike everyone else I know” she snapped back.

“Oh he doesn't lie, that great then, never mind the fact he killed thousands of people, but it’s okay because he doesn't lie!” he glared at her.

“So was Mom. . .” she began, but he cut her off.

“You know what Thea, I don’t care right now if your Farther was the Devil, I have far more important things to worry about then your imagined slights”

“Oliver” Felicity said from behind him, her voice seamed so tiny and far away.

He turned then, to find her stood at the bottom of the stair, she was white as a sheet, and she looked like she would fall over if he blew at her.

“Felicity, you need to be in bed” he said then concern lacing his voice.

“Oliver I don’t feel so well” she said before she collapsed on the floor.

Oliver’s heart jumped into his mouth, and then he was at her side checking a pulse, he breathed a sigh of relief, when he found one.

“Thea, call an ambulance now” he said cradling Felicity’s head in his arms.

He prayed the Ambulance would get her soon. 

 

“Oliver you need to sort this out with your sister” Felicity said suddenly.

“Felicity” he warned gently, from where he sat in the chair.

She sighed deeply “I know she hurt you, by going off with Merlyn, but being angry with her isn't going to solve the problem, I get that you need to get her away from him, but shouting and being mean to her, isn't the way to go forward” she told looking him in the eye.

“She is being a spoiled brat!” he said with a bit more anger in his voice then he intended.

“She’s rebelling because everyone lies to her”

He went to say something, but she stopped him with a hand.

“Yes I know it’s for her own good, but see it from her point of view, everywhere she turns she see lies, that can’t be fun for her, I know from experience that you lying right to my face, is a horrible feeling, I only got it in bits and drabs, she was exposed to it all of the time”

He hated it when she was right, it made him feel bad, only Felicity could make him feel like he was a five year old kid being told off.

“Look I am just saying, life is too short, make up with her, because tomorrow you could be dead, you don’t want to look back and realize that it was a terrible mistake not fixing your relationship with your sister”

“Felicity” he said getting up and sitting beside her on the bed.

Tears formed in her blue eyes, and he felt his heart crack.

“Please call it a dying wish” she said in a small voice.

“I’ll talk to her” he promised. 

They sat in salience for a moment, and then he just felt the need to say it 

“Felicity”

She looked at him “Yes”

“ I love you” he told her then.

He watched as a grate big tear rolled down her face.

He wiped it away with his thumb.

“You always did have bad timing” she joked.

Before he leaned over and kissed her.

 

 

Oliver watched a sleeping Felicity and wondered how it had got to this point; she looked like a small child laid there asleep.

He stood, while she was sleep, he was going to take a bathroom break.

He slipped from the room quietly.

After going to the bathroom, he decided to go to the machine for a coffee, which is when he spotted Thea.

“Thea don’t start okay?” he said tried.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Ollie; I just want to see how Felicity was?”

“She’s not doing so good Thea” at his words his chest became tight. “She sleeps a lot”

“I was told she was ill, I just didn't realize how bad” she said in a small voice.

He looked his sister direct into her eyes “She hasn't got long left” he said quietly.

Tears sprang to her eyes, “I’m sorry Ollie”

He took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears.

“You love her” it wasn't a question, but an observation.

“More than life” he said honestly.

They stood looking at each other, both unsure what to say in this very heavy moment.

It was Thea that broke first “I miss you Ollie”

“I miss you to Speedy”

She went to him then, and he engulf her in his arms, “I’m sorry Ollie, you were right, Malcolm is a monster and I should never have gone with him, I want to come home”

“Speedy it’s alright, everything will be all right” he reassured her.

She pulled away from him and looked up at him “Can I stay with you?” she asked.

“Speedy I am spending all my time with Felicity at the moment, I don’t really have a place to live, but I am sure Roy would let you stay with him, if you asked”

“You think?”

“I think” he told her and he meant it.

 

Oliver watched Felicity sleep, she fluttered her eyes open.

“Hey there,” he said picking up her glasses and putting them on for her.

“Hey you, you been here all night?”

“Yes”

“You should go home, get some sleep; I have to say you look like crap”

“Love you to” he said and rolled his eyes.

She blushed a little at his words, he chose to ignored it, she would have to get used to blushing, because he intended to tell her over and over again. There wouldn't be a day that goes by when he wouldn't tell her that he loved her. He needed to make up for lost time.

He came to sit next to her on the bed. “So I have some news?”

“You single handily brought down the Russian mafia?” she said “Oh wait you already did that, although it wasn't single handed, you had a lot of help from me”

He smiled at her “yes you did” he agreed. “But that wasn't what I wanted to tell you. Me and Thea, we talked, she’s coming home, I think we’re going to be alright, although we have a long way to go before we back to being us”

She squeezed his leg, “I’m glad” she gave a ghost of a smile. “You’re going to need her, when I am gone”

He didn't like her talking like that, talking off her death when she wasn't dead yet.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head, “Please don’t talk as if you’re already gone, I don’t like it”

“I’m just saying, I know how you are, and I know you’re going to feel it when I go, I don’t want you to grieve on your own, let someone in okay?” 

They sat in silence for a moment, and then he said “Felicity?”

She looked up at him “Yes Oliver” 

“Will you marry me?” he asked his heart pounding in his chest. 

He hadn't planned on asking her, but suddenly it seemed the right thing to do, the only thing he could do. The only thing he wanted to do.

“Be serious Oliver” 

“I am” he replied without hesitation.

He watched as her mouth fell open, “Really? You’re really asking me to marry you? You realize that you would be marrying a Corpse, well not a corpse because well I am not as you can see, not that it’s not going to be long. Three. Two. One. Okay I’m going to stop talking now”

“Yes that would be preferable” he said calmly.

They stayed in comfortable silence for a moment, before she say “Yes”

“Humm?” he looked down at her.

“Yes, I’ll marry you”

And with that his whole world turned over.

A smile crept over his face, he felt light hearted and dizzy at the same time, a warmth spread through him, and he realized she had just made him the happiest man alive.

 

 

They married the next day. 

She lay in her hospital bed, Oliver sat next to her, Diggle was best man, and Roy gave her away, Thea watched on with tears in her eyes, as the hospital Priest, married them.

It wasn't the ceremony that he wanted to give her, it should have been the big white wedding, but somehow it was right, it was small and intimate, and perfect.

He said his vows and meant every word of them.

His heart was light and he was happy, for once he had made the right decision, he had married the women he loved.

He wanted to be happy, hell he wanted to make her happy.

Even if it was only for a short time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all your comment, please get your tissues ready, there is going to be a lot of crying!
> 
> sorry for any mistakes

Felicity opened her eyes and looked around the room, her eyes fell on Roy.

“Hey you, you’re not who I was expecting, but just as nice” she said smiling at him. “Would you mind passing me my glasses?” she asked.

Roy picked them up and handed them to her.

Everything came into focus and she could see again.

“How are you feeling?” Roy asked.

“I’m good” she said and he gave her a look that told her to be truthful.

She sighed “mainly just tired”, she glanced at her IV “the pain med help with the pain”

A ghost of a smile fell on his lips.

“Where’s Oliver?” she asked then.

“Oliver had some Arrow work to take care of, I got in a little over my head with some bad guys, Oliver’s got to clean up my mess” he said a little sadly.

She took his hand and squeezed. 

“You will be as good as him, if not better one day, just don’t tell him I said that” she smiled at him.

“You think?” he looked a little brighter.

“I know Roy, is that how you got this” she said running a finger down the side of his bruised face.

He went red, “No, I had an accident in the foundry”

“Were you sparing with Diggle again? How many times have I told you to watch his left hook” she said.

He shook his head “No I fell of the Salmon ladder” he said embarrass.

She couldn't help it she burst out laughing “I would of paid good money to see that” she told him.

“Well you will get to I’m sure, Diggle filmed it” his face had gone bright red now.

“As I said Roy, you’re get there, you have to remember, it took Oliver five years to get where he is, considering the amount of time you have had to train, you are coming along in leaps and bounds” she praised him.

“Thank you Felicity for say that, I needed it”

“Oliver’s going to need you after I am gone, please be there for him, help him grieve, drag his ass through it”

She know it was a lot to ask, but she knew Oliver and she was frightened he was going to self-destruct when she was gone, she needed Roy and Diggle to pull him through, she was well aware, it was going be very hard after she was gone, she only prayed that Roy and Diggle was able to help him.

Roy nodded.

“Did you do as I asked?” she asked then.

“I spoke to her, I’m sorry Felicity, she didn't seem that interested, I tried to explain how serious things were, she told me to give you her condolences, and then she hung up” she could tell he didn't like giving her the news.

Felicity’s heart squeezed at his words, she had known that her mother wouldn't be interested, but she had hoped.

She smiled at Roy “well thank you for letting her know, I didn't want to die without her knowing at least, to be honest Roy I didn't expect much else” she blinked back tears. “It doesn't matter because my family is here with me, you guys are all I care about”

She squeezed his hand again, “I have something for you” 

She leaned over and picked up the black box on the bedside table, and handed it to him.

“I hope you like it, I got it for you a few weeks back, I asked Diggle to bring it in for me so I could give it to you” she told him her eyes shining.

He opened the box to find a Star of David necklace; he pulled it from the box.

“It’s the Star of David, it symbolizes that God rules everything, I like to think he is with you, it’s also a locket, you should open it”

With trembling fingers Roy opened it, and in side was a picture of herself, Oliver Diggle and Roy, he remembered the day well , it had been a happy time, tears sprang to his eyes.

He couldn't quite believe that she had gotten this for him, he had spent most of his life on his own after his parents had died, people had always taken from him, but they had never given, and it touched him that in her last days, she was thinking more of him then herself.

He looked at her, tears shinning his bright eyes “I can’t take this Felicity”

“I want you to have it, you have been a great friend to me since I found out, and I want you to know that I appreciate it, I really do, and beside with that I’ll always be with you” 

“I will never take it off” he promised.

He leaned forward in his chair and hugged her. 

“I love you Roy” she told him, tears falling down her face.

“I love you Felicity” he told her.

“I hope that’s a protonic love, otherwise me and Roy are going to have a falling out” Oliver said from the doorway.

She turned and smiled at him; he walked over to her and kissed her gently on the lips.

She looked at the cut on his face, and rolled her eyes, “I can’t leave you alone for five minutes can I?”

“I’m fine it’s nothing” he dismissed.

“That wouldn't of happened if I had of been on the other end of the comm” she told him.

“Diggle did just fine” he reassured her.

Roy stood then “I’ll leave you two to it, thank you for this” he said “I’ll treasure it” and then he kissed her on her cheek. And left.

“Should I be worried?” Oliver asked, only half joking.

“I married you didn't I?” she looked at the door where Roy had just left. “Take care of him okay, he’s going to make mistake, don’t be too hard on him, he is doing really well considering”

“I would have to agree, Roy is doing great”

She yawned then.

“Boring you already Mrs Queen?” he questions.

At his words her stomach dipped.

“Just tired” she whispered her eyelids suddenly felt heavy.

He took her glasses “then go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake” he kissed her forehead.

Felicity closed her eyes and slept.

 

In the next few days, Felicity got worse rather than better, Oliver watched as the fight left her, and he know with a knot in his stomach, that her end was nearing, the thought broke him, so he threw himself into taking care of her. 

Someone was always with her, mainly Oliver, but if he couldn't be, then Diggle or Roy would sit with her. He wasn't going to leave her alone for a second, it was the only thing he had any control over.  
Oliver entered her room with a wheel chair; he parked it at the end of her bed and walked over to her, kissing her lightly on her lips.

“Hey” he said to her.

“Hey, what with the wheel chair?” she asked looking up into his face.

He winked at her “I’m breaking you out”

“Oliver I’m not allowed to leave the Hospital” she told him.

“It’s Valentine ’s Day, I have cleared it with the Doctors, it help when you have your name on a wing, as long as I bring you back tomorrow, I’ve got something special planned, for our first Valentine’s day” and our last was the unspoken sentence that lingered in the air.

He kissed her again “Now let’s get you dressed”

 

“Oliver this is the Foundry” she told him as he carried her down the stairs.

“Yes it is” he said smiling.

“You know I’m dying right?” she tried to joke.

He growled, low in his chest “I’m just saying Dying people should get more then the Foundry” she said laying her head on his chest. “It’s not like I haven’t experience the foundry before”

As they reached the bottom of the stairs she realized the light were dimmer than usual.

She looked up to see that he had made a picnic on the floor, there were cushions for her to sit on and Rose petals scattered all around.

There was candle flickering, a picnic basket was placed on the floor, and a bottle was placed in an ice bucket

“I wanted to take you for a romantic picnic, but its February and cold outside, so I brought it inside” he kissed her gently on the lips “Happy Valentine’s day”

“Oliver” she breathed.

She couldn't believe that he had done this for her; he gently placed her down on the cushions. 

“Don’t worry the guys have strict instructions not to come anywhere near the foundry tonight”  
She smiled at him. Touched to her core, by his amazing gesture.

“So I know that you’re not allowed to drink, so I have brought sparkling apple juice” he said pouring her a glass.

“Thank you” she said taking the glass form him, and taking a small sip, hoping she would be able to swallow.

“You okay?” he asked.

She smiled “yes I’m okay” 

He kissed her then, his lips melding with her, she parted her lips as he deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking her, she moaned.

He pulled away and smiled at her “God I love you Felicity” he told her looking into her eyes.

Her heart jumped in her chest at his words. And a warm feeling seeped through her. Making her warm inside.

She took a breath and said “I need you to do something for me” she looked into his blue eyes and prayed he would agree to do this for her.

“Name it” he told her in a heartbeat.

“At my apartment in my desk draw, I have a list of thing I want for my funeral, everything’s there, I just need you to implement them when I am gone”

“Felicity” he rolled his eyes “this is supposed to be a romantic Valentine day date, let’s not ruin it with funeral arrangements” he half joked.

“I know you don’t want to deal with this Oliver, but you have got to, my death is coming, and there are things that need to be done after I am gone, please do this for me, I know if I leave this in your hands it will be done as I wish” she said gently cupping his cheek with her hand. To make him look at her.

“I can’t believe how strong you are, you leave me in amazement” he whispered then.

“Please do this for me” she begged him.

A small smile curved his lips “I’ll do it, for you” he whispered.

He gently kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her,  
Which made him deepen the kiss; he gently leaned her back so she was laid down.  
His hand wen t to her t-shirt, and slipped up under the edge gently stoke the flat planes of her stomach, leaving a fire in his wake, she moaned as his tongue played with hers.

He pulled back and she groaned, “Where are you going Mr. Queen?” she gently chastised.

He smiled down at her, “we shouldn't” Oliver Queen the voice of reason.

She wanted to be wild right then, experience everything she could before time ran out, she wanted to experience him.

She smiled at him, making his stomach flip “Oliver, this may be the only opportunity I get to do this with you” she said in all seriousness.

He looked uncertain; she placed her hand on either side of his face, “Are you really going to deny a Dying woman?” 

“Felicity” he said gently kissing her again. He couldn't deny her anything, especially not now.

And just like that her passion was ignited again.

He gently lifted her up into his arms, still kissing her he carried her over to the cot he kept in the corner.

And placed her on it.

He gently kissed down the side of her neck sending shivers down her spin. She moaned at the attention he was giving her neck.

“You like that?” he asked she could feel a smile on his lips next to her skin.

He lifted her up gently, and pulled her T-shirt up over her head, not willing to break contact for longer than necessary, he was back kissing her as soon as the T-shirt was gone.

She slipped off his leather jacket, without really thinking about it. It fell to the floor disregarded.

He stopped kissing her and she groaned, he chuckled, never leaving eye contact, he removed his own T-shirt, and then laid her back down, and suddenly the cold air was gone, as his body covered hers, she stroked over his chest, feeling his scars on her fingertips, and he groaned.

She thanked God she hadn't put a bra on.

She kissed his chest as his hands explored her breasts. Gently kneading. She sucked in a breath.

And then she cried out as an electric charge shot through her from his touch.  
He kissed her again, there tongues joined and stroked; she could feel her heart beating, pounding in her chest. She thought it might explode.

He pulled away and started kissing down her neck, she cried out, as his mouth took her breast in his warm depth.

She arched off the bed, with the sensation, “Oliver” she moaned. 

Heat pooled between her legs. She wanted him naked, the desire was unbearable.

She felt him at her waist, felt him started to pull down her trousers and underwear in one go.   
She toed off her shoes, and in a second her trouser and underwear were gone.

She felt bear and exposed as he looked down her body, with a heated expression.

She smiled at him “Mr Queen, you are way to dressed for this activity” she smiled up at him.

“Really Mrs Queen then I will have to rectify that right away” he bantered with her.

He removed his jeans and shoes in a flash.

He came to settle over her kissing her. Feeling every inch of her, savoring the feel of her.

The heat pool between her legs, she needed him more then she need breath “Oliver” she moaned.

He parted her legs, and penetrated her in one movement, she almost screamed with the pleasure, of the friction of him slipping inside her.

“Oliver” she panted and he started to move within her. Kissing her needing more contact then his penetration.

She could feel the pleasure building inside her. Bubbling away deep between her legs.

“Oliver please” she wasn't sure what she was asking for, but he seemed to know, and quickened his pace driving them forward to the prize.

She felt it a second later her inner wall contracting as the start of her orgasm took a hold. She moaned and closed her eyes.

He took her mouth in a blazing kiss as she came hard clenching around him milking him, she cried out his name.

Two more pumps and he to found his release, crying out her name as he came.

He collapsed on top of her, kissing her neck, tickling her.  
She laughed.

She was content, and happy.

He rolled off of her, and pulled her with him.

They lay in silence for a few moments; Felicity lay with her head on his chest.

“You okay?” he asked. 

“Sleepy” she told him.

He kissed the top of her head “Then sleep” he told her.

He grabbed the blankets and pulled it up over them.

And soon she fell into a deep contented sleep. Happy in the fact that Oliver Queen was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

 

 

Oliver woke up, and found his face smothered in blond hair, it smelt of coconut, the smell of Felicity, he took a deep breath in, taking in the smell off her. He wanted to surround himself with her smell; he never wanted to forget it.

Waking up with her in his arms felt so right, he wondered why he had fort it for so long, if he had his way he would wake next to her ever morning.

“Felicity” he nudged her neck with his nose.

There was no response “Felicity” he said more loudly.

No response.

“Felicity” he shock her gently.

Still nothing, panic flared in his gut, he checked to see if she was breathing, she was. Just. Her breath was shallow.

He needed to get her to the hospital.

 

Felicity slept, for three days; never waking, if it wasn't for the small movement of her chest rising and falling he would swear she was dead. Oliver found it ironic she slept like the dead, and yet each time he tried to sleep he would see her lifeless body next to his, and it kept him awake, in turn he hadn't slept at all in three days.

Oliver couldn't believe this was happening. They had had a perfect Valentine’s Day, and then it had all gone horribly wrong. 

He wanted to hit something.

The Doctors had told him, it was unlikely that she would wake up now, that the end was really close, and it panicked him. A life without her, he couldn't go there. Couldn't fathom a life of not waking up next to her every day, he was supposed to have more time with her. To show her how much he loved her, now none of that was going to happen. It left a hollow feeling in his chest.

He threw away the cold coffee he had into the bin. In the hospital hallway, he had just needed a moment away, away from her sleeping or he thought he might go made, with needing to do something. The waiting was killing him, Oliver had always been proactive, he didn’t like hanging around, he wanted to be doing something, but there was nothing to be done but wait.

Diggle and Roy arrived.

“How is she?” Roy asked worried.

“It’s not good Roy, she’s hasn't woken up, her breathing is worse, the doctors say she has days left” Oliver said sadly.

He watched as Roy eyes filled with tears, “Can I see her?” he asked. 

Oliver nodded, and Roy passed him and slipped into her room.

“How are you?” Diggle asked.

“I’m holding up” he lied. Truth was when he was alone with her all he did was cry, he supposed it was amusing that the big strong Oliver Queen, who had spent years on an island surviving, that was hard and unyielding, cried like a baby, over a women, but then she wasn't any women, she was his heart.

“I’m here if you need to talk” Diggle told him placing a hand on his shoulder.

Oliver nodded.

He looked at Diggle, “I don’t know how I am going to live without her” he told his friend.

“I don’t know how . . . this is the first time. . . “ he couldn't make sense of his thoughts, he took a deep breath “She dying and all I can do is watch, I can’t do anything” he felt so helpless.

“Your doing everything Oliver, your there with her, that means more to her then anything, she doesn't want to die alone, and she won’t, because you’re going to be there” Diggle told him, tears in his eyes.

“I’m not sure I can, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to see her through this” tears spilled over in his own eyes.

The tightness in his chest grew tighter with every moment.

“Oliver you have to be, for her, you have to dig deep man, and ride this through, it will be the single most important thing you do.” Diggle told him.

And he knew he was right, he had to find the strength to see this though.

Roy came out then crying “I can’t do this” he said “She just looks like she sleeping, I need some air” he said before moving off.

Oliver rubbed his eyes. He knew how he felt.

“Poor kid, this is hitting him hard” Diggle said then. “He had grown quite close with her”

“It’s hitting everyone hard Diggle” Oliver said his own eyes teary.

Diggle nodded in understanding. “I’m going to go say good bye” he walked passed Oliver and into her room.

Diggle cried.

 

That night Oliver lay next to her on the bed, she was on her side sleeping peacefully, he wrapped her in his arms, and fell asleep with his face, in her hair.

Years on the island had caused him to sleep light, so he woke at the slightest thing, he felt it, her breathing slowing down, he pulled her closer to him, and buried his head in her neck where he cried.

“Please God, give me a miracle, don’t take her from me. Please” he sobbed into her neck.

“I know I have done bad thing, but please don’t take her from me, I am begging you, please make her better” but even as he sob the words, her breathing slowed even more, and he knew that she was leaving him, that her life was fading away “Don’t leave me, please Felicity fight, fight for us” he begged sobbing uncontrollably. 

The tears streamed down his face, the panic formed in his stomach, an uncontrollable urge to hold on to her life consumed him, but there was no way of doing that, if he could he would, he was losing her and there was nothing he could do. His heart hurt.

He felt her draw her last breath, and then nothing, his pleas had gone unanswered. He held his own breath listening for her breathing, but all he heard was an empty room.

He pulled her even closer, crying for his loss, he cried into the night, as her body went cold and her limb stiff, but he never let go, praying that she would wake, that a miracle would happen, he finally fell asleep holding her close to his chest, exhaustion finally taking him in the early hours of the morning, he held on tight never wanting to let go.

“Mr Queen” he was woken from her slumber to find a nurse stood over him.

He looked up and found pity in her eyes.

“Mr Queen, I’m sorry she gone” the nurse said kindly.

And with those words his whole world broke and crumbled, reality hit.

Felicity Smoak the love of his life was dead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone, this is it the last chapter including a small Epilogue

Chapter Five

Oliver found himself in her town house, it smelt of Felicity her perfume lingered on the air, he never wanted to leave this place.

He walked into her bedroom and over to her desk where he found her list in the draw, and then he saw it, a white envelope, with his name scrawled on the front in Felicity distinct hand writing.

He tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter.

 

Oliver,

I leaned today that I’m dying, I sat in my Doctors office, and when they told me, all I could think was I wished you were here with me to hold my hand.  
But even as I thought that I know that I am not going to tell you. You may not like that, but I think it is for the best, you are the Arrow, the hero of Starling City and with that come responsibility, me telling you would only deflect you from your mission, an important mission, you can’t be distracted from it.  
I need you to understand, that I do this to protect you, I love you,   
You once remembered that I was chewing a red pen when we first met, well I remember the sadness in your eyes. And I also remember how it faded as time went on, I hope that I was the reason for that, because I can tell you, you were the reason my heart became lighter. You accepted me for who I am, the babbling girl, and yet you were perfectly content to listen, and I had never had that before, most disregarded me, but not you, and I will always be truly grateful for that. You and you alone made my life better, completed it in ways I could never explain.  
So I do not want you to morn Oliver, do not be sad because of my death, you made my life better, and I hope I made yours bearable.  
I know you Oliver, and I know that you can’t self-destruct over this, you have a job to do, you must protect Starling City, but you must also live, find a balance Oliver, or you will die in the foundry, and I do not want that for you, I want you to have a life, get married, have children, become a family, all the thing we could never do, but most of all be happy.  
If I could have one wish, it would be to see you happy, those dark shadow completely gone from your eyes, so please do that for me.

I will always love you.

Felicity.

 

He curled up on Felicity’s bed , clutching the letter, and he cried, like he had never cried before, he had had loss in his life, he had watched his farther shoot himself, Shado be killed, his mother stabbed by Slade, and Sara arrowed, and he had grieved each time, but this was different, Felicity was his soul, and now it was gone, there was a part of him missing, his heart, and he feared that it would never return, that the empty space was setting up permanent residents in his chest.

He didn't know how to cope with this. He wasn't sure he wanted to.

He had struggle through the worst five years of his life, and there had been time he had wanted to give up, but he had never stopped fighting for his life. Self-preservation.

But right now laid on her bed, all he wanted was to curl up and die.

 

 

Felicity Smoak was buried a week after she had died, it was a bright sunny crisp day, that suited Felicity to a T.

He stood there with Diggle and Roy behind him, and Thea holding his hand, it was little comfort.

Felicity Mother never showed, it didn't matter, Felicity family was there all morning her death, the people that she cared about most in the world would never off missed her last resting place.

He watched as they placed her into the ground, and all he wanted to do, was jump in with her, and never let her go, instead he walked towards her coffin, and throw a handful of dirt on top. 

All that she had asked for had been done; he could never deny her, even though each time he put his mind to a new preparation, it scraped of a piece of his very being.

His eyes dry now he was all out of tears, all he felt was numb.

One by one, people threw dirt on to her grave then moved on, the whole time, he just stood there staring.

Finally he was left on his own, he watched as they started to fill the hole in, and all he wanted was to tell them to stop, but he didn't, he just silently stared at the hole that was now the resting place of Felicity Smoak.

 

 

Eventually he went back to the foundry, and that’s when the anger hit, the pain he felt was unbearable, he had been tortured stabbed and burned, but nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

He stood looking at the chair where she used to sit, and the anger that she would never sit there again stormed through him, he picked up the chair and threw it at the monitors, they exploded, he tipped over a table and smashed the glass box his suit was in.

Oliver fell to his knees crying. All the rage gone. The rage was replaced, by an overwhelming grief. 

And in that moment he knew that his grief was never going away.

 

It had been a month since Felicity had die, and Oliver was taking risk, unnecessary risks cleaning up the city. He didn't care; he had thrown himself into keeping the city safe. Diggle had tried to talk to him, several times, but Oliver was hard headed and didn't want to know.

He shut himself off even more than before, hating the fact she wasn't sat in her chair every time he was in the foundry he expected to hear her voice, but it never came, it broke him ever time, so he fort harder when out in the field, taking his anger out on who ever got in his way.

Which was how he had come to be on the roof top fighting three gang members.

He hadn't been prepared for the knife being plunged into his gut, he fell to his knees. Clutching his stomach, blood pooled through his fingers and on to the floor. 

His first reaction was shock, he’d been stabbed. He couldn't believe it.

And then the thought formed in his head a single thought that rocked through him.

At last.

He had never really realized what he was doing until that moment, but there it was plain as day, he was on a suicide mission; he was getting back to Felicity.

The gang members ran.

He fell to the floor, his vision blurred.

He knew that this wound could end his life, and welcomed it.

He was vaguely aware of Diggle and Roy appearing.

“Oliver what are you doing?” he looked up to see Felicity looking down at him. 

He blinked not trusting his eyes, but she was still stood there in front of him.

He stood up “Felicity” he wanted to fall to his knees at her feet. “You’re here with me”

She closed her eyes and swallowed “I’m dead Oliver, and if you don’t start fighting, so are you going to be” She looked over his shoulder, and he turned to see, Diggle and Roy were trying to save his life on the floor behind him.

He turned back to her “Doesn't matter, I’m with you” he said shaking his head.

She took a step forward and placed a hand on his check, he leaned into it, relishing the feel of her.

“Oliver you don’t want to do this” she told him.

“Yes I do, I am done Felicity, I just. . . I want to stop fighting and just be with you” he told her.

“Oliver, you have to let go of me, and live your life” she pleaded with him, but the plea’s fell on deaf ears.

“My life was over when you died” he kissed her then, and he felt like he had come home.

“Oliver this is your last chance to go back to your body” she begged him. He could see the torment in her eyes at what he was doing, “If you don’t go back now, there will be no going back” she pleaded with him.

“I would rather be dead with you, then alive and without you” he looked into her beautiful blue eyes. Tears shone there.

She sighed, and then kissed him, and he knew that she was giving in, and hope formed in his heart. 

The gaping hole in his chest started to ease.

“I love you Oliver Queen” she gave a little smile.

“I love you Felicity Queen” he kissed her again, and knew he would never get enough of kissing this women.

She turned slightly from him, then held out her hand, he took it without hesitation, it was surprisingly warm to touch.

She started to move away leading him to the light. 

Where they both disappeared.

 

Diggle fell back on his bottom, his face in his hands, Oliver was dead.

He looked at Roy, “We need to make this look like he was mugged” he said going into clean up mode.

“He’s dead Diggle” Roy said, he sounded like he couldn't believe it.

“I like to believe that he’s with Felicity, which is where he has wanted to be since she died” Diggle said to Roy.

Roy nodded in agreement.

“What am I going to tell Thea?” Roy asked shell shocked.

“That her brother died in a mugging” Diggle said. “We need to get him out of these cloths” he picked up Oliver and put him over his shoulder.

“What about the Arrow, people might suspect when the Arrow disappears after Oliver dies?” Roy questioned. 

Diggle stopped, “congratulation kid, you have just been promoted” Diggle said before taking Oliver Queens dead body off the roof.

Roy stomach dipped, this is what he had been aiming for, but he had never wanted it under these circumstances. 

 

Oliver Queen was buried a month to the day that Felicity was put into the ground, he was buried next to his wife.

The day couldn't off been more different, it rained. It was cloudy and over cast, just like Oliver had been in life.

Thea stood there and cried for her brother, while Roy held her.

 

Epilogue

But even though Oliver Queen died, the Arrow lived on.

And felicity had been right, although it was never doubted, Roy became even better at being the Arrow, then Oliver could have ever of dreamed.

Roy crouched down on top of a building, watching the city below; he wore the Green that symbolized protection of the city.

He pulled out his locket and opened it, for what must of been the thousandth time, and looked at the picture that was now warn and old.

He liked to look, he liked to remember, Felicity had been the very heart of team Arrow, and after she had died, it had never been the same, but he had happy memories of his Family. Even when things had gotten bad, she always could make them laugh.

He missed her, hell he even missed Oliver, there wasn't a day that went by when he didn't think of either of them, he protected the city for them, honoring there memory.

A woman screamed below.

He looked down to see a man holding her at gunpoint.

He would never remove the pendant from his neck, even being buried with it. He kissed it, remembering Felicity and her strength, before snapping it shut, and jumping off the building to rescue the woman.

Through Roy and Diggle, Oliver and Felicity legacy lived on for many years.

Diggle had always said that Oliver had at last found his peace, that Felicity was his home, his life, his love.

Roy had to agree with that, the last day of Felicity life proved it to anyone that look, the love Oliver had, had shone through brighter than the brightest star, and because of that Roy believed with every fiber of his being that they were together for all eternity.

Because love that powerful could never be separated.

The End


End file.
